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debbie
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2011-02-10 11-57-05 |
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Who wants to breed and create beautiful children
that will be the envy of all our friends? I mean re personal match maker Newry PA ally, who doesn't want that? That was somewhat flip, I know, but that's what I'm seeking. Something long-term and with a future to it. A family, and to be surrounded by the overwhelming love of such family forever. I mean isn't that a beautiful thought, and what more could anyone possibly ask or want for? An end to loneliness and the struggle that entails, and forever, because there is no such need to be alone. I am not perfect and am far from such, but am aware of all my flaws and painfully honest about them all. So just like life, I'm not always a bowl full of roses, but what ya see is what you'll get, and I'd never try and pretend otherwise. One thing I *have* gotten right throughout my lifetime is fidelity and trust. I've never cheated, because I simply don't believe in that. I'm old-school that way I guess, and further educated by the fact that I was once cheated upon by someone I loved deeply, and the indelible memories of how that impacted me and what it did to me, and the immensity of that betrayal and hurt. So I could never do that to another, and I never have, and never will. Kudos to me I guess. I want love. I want to be loved. I don't want some bullshit booty or 'friends with benefits' arrangement. If that were what I wanted, I could head out to the bar right now and get laid just like that, and come back from that feeling just as empty an just as lacking in love as I'd felt before, and this all comes from experience, because I've been there and done it all before. At a certain point you start to feel the ticking of the clock, and realize the passage of time and the impermanence of our place here on this Earth, and long for something much more than this, please, because this can't be all there is. It just can't, and it won't. Love is out there for all of us, and yes it requires great amounts of hard work in order to maintain that and make it flourish, but that's where it's at, all of it, even as it opens you up and bares you to all of it, both the joy and the pain. And I was afraid of that hurt for a very long time and avoided love like the plague as a result of that, but I've found that the alternative to that lack of love, the soul-crushing loneliness and that fucking searing sense of 'aloneness', it's no alternative at all. And if I sound like some whiny emo bitch, I'm not. I'm a man just had enough. I don't expect to hear anything back in reply, but that's alright too. Even a shot in the dark is still a shot and is something much better than nothing at all.
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