nighshift two-for-one poll: 1) This is from a local paper. Agree or disagree? Q: My friends and I fascinated by what you've written about casual dating and want more information. Is sex involved in casual dating? A: Is sex every really casual? Perhaps is you've hardened your emotions and hidden your higher consciousness, you can pretend to be purely reptilian. Most humans who tout casual sex suffer, beneath their bravado, from sex addiction or terribly stunted emotions. The rest of our species tends to bond, emotionally and chemiy, during sex. That means if you have sex with someone too early in the dating cycle, you may bond to someone who is not right for you. Postponing sex allows the relationship to develop intentionally." Me: The "reptilian, terrible stunted, chemical boding" overstatements/genenal statements aside, I think it is an interesting/valid counterpoint to the "do what feels good now," movement. 2) What do you wish you could read again for the first time. Me: The Bluest Eye (Toni Morrison) and A Good Man is Hard to Find (Flannery O'Connor)

hmmm... part one, depends on where you're at. In college I would have disagreed, 'cause I wasn't ready to hook up with someone in the long term and the random thing worked for me. Nowadays it wouldn't work. I love being all the way in love with my mate, and living a life together with great sex included. I'm just not in the dating mindset... 'reptilian' seems a bit over the top though. Part 2, I read lots of stuff over and it seems nearly like the first time all over again. In fact, I like mysteries better the second go-round, 'cause I feel all smart seeing how the clues are adding up to a conclusion I'm expecting.

My first thought was that the person who believes sex is always and only about bonding and it's that way for EVERYONE is either 1) too self-righteous to think that anyone can be different that her/him or 2) dissatisfied with her/his own sex life and takes comfort in believing that her/his is "bonded" and therefore healthier & better than all those sexcapading single folk. In my personal experience, the some of the best sexual experiences I've had have been in a casual/one night/short-term fling context. It just depends on where I am. Sometimes I WANT sex in the context of a relationship, sometimes I just want to feel liberated by nsa physical gratification. Is sex ever really casual? Yes. Sometimes it is. And that works for some people. 2) I wish I could read "Black Beauty" again for the first time. I've read it hundreds of times over the years and I know some paragraphs by heart.

To answer the book part The Enormous Crocodile and White Fang

To anser casual dating part No but it could be involved in something even less.