competition Regarding that hoary old supposition that women are all competitors in a big beauty contest to attract a man and a secure resource base. I've been thinking that this may explain why lesbians, gays, bisexuals are the nicest people: they don't have to view each other as competition. When a dyke sees or meets another woman, she sees a potential friend, a person similar to herself physiy, possibly even hints of romantic and sexual attraction. If this person is straight, there's no competition because they're after different pool of potential love partners. If this person is gay, she's a sister lesbian (right on!) or buddy to hang out with, or cutie to flirt with. When a dyke sees a gay or straight man, she doesn't see competition either, by definition they are not "competing" for the same pool of love partners. Gay guys want other gay guys; straight guys want straight women, the ones that wouldn't have been potential partners anyway. Lesbians and non-lesbians should never feel threatened over sexual rivalry, though that's not to say general misogyny and homophobia aren't huge problems, or that jealousy over specific relationships can't occur. But in general queer women aren't sexual competitors because we're all potential friends/lovers/comrades. Same analysis goes for gays, and for both male and female bi's. Only heterosexuals are in a position of inherent competition over intended love partners. That's why we need to do everything we can to discover a cure for this tragic psychological disorder. Please help stamp out hererosexualism today, millions are living with this terrible condition, and need your loving concern.

Maybe. I've meet some pretty competitive gays and some pretty mean dykes. I don't think being straight or gay determines your personality.

I wit u on this well hips i believe u on that note....

I am not sure I don't buy into the initial assumption that people are competitors for partners...because I don't buy into the argument that survival of the fittest is played out on an individual level. I don't buy that. There are too many instances of social behavior, of whole groups looking out for the babies of others and of group protection for that to be true and applied as strictly as it is. How do gay animals fit into survival of the fittest if it is applied strictly and at the individual level? To me, it doesn't. There are too many other factors at play and too many examples of exceptions to the rule. For me, this women as competition thing is a purely social construct that is very pervasive in our society.

I think it's largely socially constructed, too Based on thousands of years of being told it's true, many people have made it true. And I do believe it takes an act of will to see it and undo it. That's like work, and lots of people aren't willing (or interested).

That would be nice but it isn't my reality. What I've found is confidence in one's genuine self-worth and the ability to understand others levels the playing field, no matter the gender or their sexuality and no matter the personal or professional interests.

I think that all generalizations are false. :p One of the first things I ever learned in psych was that evolutionary psych is usually a load of bull. The explanations tend to be compelling or even self-serving. "I'm just spreading my seed; evolution made me do it!" but ultimately, they are impossible to disprove, which makes them suspect. But really, we're the nicest? I know I have a reputation at work for being a hard-ass at work and I know plenty of straight girls that I think are way nicer than I am, not that I'm a complete a$$hole (I hope.) Also, I would argue that we do compete for mates, though we're not techniy competing to stay in the gene pool (unless you have children, in which case the competing for resources argument still works). You could even make the argument that there is more competition in the sense that the dating pool is smaller and that person you're interested in may also be interested in the other person you're interested in... Thanks for that post. Though I disagree with your point, it made me think. Off to work now.

live and let live

my question (poll) why does it matter what other people do? or how they live thier lives? why are labels important? being a lesbian/woman/american..i'm just a person, a person is just a person, playing in a band. what do you think?

Well, the study of what other people do is kind of a human thing. We're all curious about how each other moves through life, to some degree. Curiosity is the sign of a lively mind! I don't mean living your life in fear of what other people think or do, of course - but it's a human thing for humans to study humanity, and what makes us all tick in our individual ways.

lively forsure! no fear! i don't know about anyone else; i the only time i worried about what other people thought or that a label bothered me, is when my needs wasn't being met. Or yes, I was in fear of life. its such cool insight! ty lando, may the force be with you! ;-)

now, life is beyond cool I never ever thought life could be this good. even when a date goes sour, or something doesn't go my way, its no big deal... life ain't perefect nor am i, but life is pretty darn good!

I know what you mean It's so amazing and improbable to be alive at exactly this moment, to have had and continue to have such a wild crazy adventure with so many unusual and excellent people. I and the folks at home would hardly have believed it if I hadn't lived it. Nonetheless, I sometimes lose sight of that and see only obstacles ahead and disappointments behind. That feeling passes like the x:x rainstorm and I'm usually on my feet to see the golden sunset and a new day after. I admire your consistently cheerful manic antic gigantic misdemeanor, SFTankGirl. I get the feeling that you probably dance during the rainstorms too!

I'll jump in a puddle. ;-x)