A very curious girl...... A group of 5 lesbians wanted a child back in 83. I am that child. I've grown up aroud lesbians and even had a few drunken one night stands with friedns and even a stranger or 2. I always see lesbian couples and daydream. Is this what I want? Yep. But, I there is this really weird feeling inside me that Im not good enough for a woman! What IS this? I feel as though my imperfections on my body will push away any woman I meet. Im not horrible looking at all but like many women there is a strecth here and a sag there. Im only 27, 2 , been through quite a bit in life...... and oh yea, I have a husband. Any words of wisdom or advice or just a friend to talk to would be nice. No childish mean comments please they will be ignored.

why don't you ask one of the lesbians you grew up around?

there my moms! I look up to all of them exactly the same. Would you go to your mom and ask questions about sex? Maybe its just me but I dont feel comfortable asking my m oms for sex and relationship advice.

do they all live together, your moms?

nope.... 2 have passed away and the other 3 live solo in different cities.

so where do you spend christmas?

it all depends.... We usually always spend it together either at my house or one of theirs, or like last year we all spent christmas at my in laws house and all my moms came as well as their families. (sisters, bros, aunts, uncle.....)

so when you were growing up with 5 moms what was that like, practiy speaking? Was there, like one main mom, and four sister-moms? Did they each have their own house in the compound?

it was very fun! My bio mom and her partner had a house (which I lived in), then 2 other partners had their house and then one other one was single. It was just a normal childhood for me. Harldy a "compound" their lesbians not mormons. Sounds like you've been watching too much sister wives. I would mainly stay at home in my house and spend the night at my other moms house. To start out I wasn't the child of all these women, just my bio mom and her partner, the other women were just best friends with n=my moms and helped raise me. I have siblings too. But as I grew older and understood more I just see them all as my moms. My bio mom and the partner of my other mom are the ones who passed away so thats when we bacame really close.

IMO: you are married with children. Deal with that relationship first. Go into therapy to help you process your thoughts and to decide whether you want to commit to the relationship or choose to end it. Also talk with the therapist about your self confidence, self esteem and body image.Working on your self image and confidence would be a great way to influence your children and how they think of themselves and how they make choices in life. If you are no longer married and you feel whole with yourself, then you can decide if you are ready to be in another relationship with a man or a woman.

not like that at all.... I am married and there is nothing wrong with our marriage. I love him more than anything. And as far as my "self esteem issues" I dont have any when it comes to men! Just women. Thats the strange part. I think maybe because women regardless of being straight or gay are always in competition of each other. Even when we dont realize it. So I feel as though I have pushed aside who I really am (lesbian) to be a person that was more convinient. Does this make sense? Im sure it doesn't but please try to follow along. I love being me and I wear it on the outside. I have no problems with me when it comes to men or just people in general only when I have had thoughts of being with a girl.

IMO=In my opinion I feel as though I have pushed aside who I really am (lesbian) to be a person that was more convinient That's important. You may love him but are you gay? I don't know - talk to a therapist. You made a life choice and pushed aside who YOU are? How is that being true to you? How is that a positive role model? *I* don't think "women regardless of being straight or gay are always in competition of each other". Maybe it's your view of women that makes you uncomfortable with yourself. Maybe you are judging yourself how you *think* others are judging you. Maybe it's because you are not living a life that is true to you. These are all great questions to explore with a therapist.

thank you... I never try to follow the celb shows of fashion tips. I dress in what I like and do what makes ME happy. But I cant help to have those thoughts of "do I look better than her" its just there. It's what we are surrounded by. Thank you for understanding.

Actually you could help it but it takes an act of will.

i ignore it... as much as I can thats why I dont follow it, it's just a thought in the back of my mind. Like a train wreck, you dont want to look but you can't help but peeking.

me a dork but.... What is IMO? Im new to this and dont really understand.

IMO, In my opinion

You are my nightmare I've worked so hard raising my kid, and I would consider it a massive fail if she were to post something like this. Your situation has nothing to do with you being raised by lesbians. Good lord, your post is every bit as ignorant as most of the married-but-wanting-to-cheat posts we get in here every damn day. You mention your husband as if the relationship is merely incidental. You have kids together. Drunken one night stands with friends and strangers? Meaningless, of course. Stretch marks are the least of your obstacles. Get some therapy and stop telling people you have five mothers. You are making us all look bad.