Hey ladies I started my research paper my professor would like for us to bring our introduction tommorrow. She said your introuduction should focus on the definition and background of your topic.. I feel I am every where and not sure if I am going the right way... Please feel free to express to me how you feel. I am not sensitive so please be very truthful.. I want to do justice to the topic and get at least a B on the paper..I am not finished with my intro.... ok here it goes: Should Gays and Lesbians be able to marry On November 4, 2008 many states voted to ban same sex marriages. Individuals that are opposed of same sex marriages believe allowing same sex marriage will destroy the institution of marriage. Marriage is define as a legal union between two individuals recognized by state and religious authority. Institution is define as an established custom. There are many different marriage institutions based on the era. In Western civilization marriage was once looked at more as an economic arrangement. Wives had fewer rights than their husbands and because they were expected to him left little room for romance or even just liking her husband. The wives main duties were to procreate and cooperate. The single and childless men of Ancient Greece were excluded from important public meetings. Even though marriage was important being in-love still was not of importance and the wives were still perceived as having children and taking care of the household. Usually the men were in their thirties and the women were teenagers. Marriage in Ancient Israel were for procreation and to carry on the man’s name. Women status were still lower than men and was considered his property. A wife could not do anything without her husband permission. Men were also allowed to have more than one wife. In our society marriage is in institution which two people join our lives in a emotional and economic way. Women have the right to chose their husbands and are supposed to be their husbands partners not property.

Think you have the content going OK and I am sure this probably only a rough draft, but there are numerous grammer errors. Lots of singular nouns with plural verbs and vice vera. In addition, some of the sentenences need more structure to convey your idea.

yes this is my rough draft.. I will check on the grammer errors. How long should I discuss the definition of marriage and institutions. thanks for the feed back BR

I think it is great you have facts and you have backed them up...good luck with the grade...I am sure this will be an easy A.

Ladies I started my intro a little different On November 4, 2008 6,156,848 voters checked yes to proposition 8 on California’s ballot. Proposition 8 was a proposition to amend the state Constitution to restrict the definition of marriage to a union between a man and a woman. Californians decided to over turn a California Supreme Court decision that recognized same sex marriages on May 15, 2008. Both campaigns raised more money than any other state ballot across the country. The proponents felt allowing homosexuals to marry will destroy the institution of marriage. They believe marriage is for a man and a woman. In the Webster dictionary marriage is defined as a legal union between two individuals recognized by state and religious authority. Institution is defined as an established custom. (I AM STILL NOT FINISHED BUT I THOUGHT THIS WAS BETTER START BASED ON YALL OPINIONS AND NOW I WILL DISCUSS SOME OF THE HISTORY OF MARRIAGE) BEFORE I GO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. THANKS AGAIN LADIES

Since you asked... 1) this is a long rambling introduction, at the end of it I'm not sure what you will be talking about. Is it a) the many (many? does 3 =many?) states who voted on Nov. 4, 2008 to ban same sex marriages?; b) religious traditions in other countries and at other points of time?; c) the roles of men and women? d) the Bible? I'm also not sure what marrying one's brother has to do with the topic. I think you're trying to prove your argument in the introduction by raising issues from the Bible, but making your argument is not the purpose of an introduction. Your introduction should a) state your topic; b) state how you will prove your argument. In the following paragraphs you will actually make the argument. In your conclusion you will state how you successfully made your argument. 2) There are many writing errors: avoid colloquial expressions like "looked at", check your use of possessives, don't hyphenate words that don't need hyphenation (e.g., in-love), check your subject verb agreement. 3) you're vague about timelines – when you say things like "women status [sic] were still lower than men [sic] and was [sic] considered his property" when does "still" refer to? now? then? are you comparing it to another point in history? 4) Use your professor's office hours or make an appointment with her. You'll get a better idea of what her expectations are for the paper. Professors like when students ask for help, it shows you actually care about doing well.

ok. I thought I was rambling I know my professor wants the introduction to be at 1-2 pages long. She stated the introduction should give the defintion and/ or the background of your subject. I thought I should defined and give the background on marriage..

I would add 2 things to silli's comments... That first sentence needs to "hook" the reader as it introduces your topic. For example, (and not knowing quite where your paper is headed), you might try something like: Historiy in many cultures worldwide, marriage was a contract between two men: a bride's father and her bridegroom. (This of course is a bad, off the top of my head example). Also, that last sentence or two should be your thesis (what you're trying to argue/prove with your paper). And as a suggestion: have you outlined/mindmapped your main points yet? I find it helps me write more clearly when I have an idea of what points I need to hit to argue my point and then flesh them out before I tackle writing my paper.

I want my paper to have the background and the definition of marriage and its institution in the introduction. I want show how both change over time. I want to also show how same sex marriage is about law and not religion. especially since there is more than one religion and how each religion has changed its rules for marriage. I want to right how civil unions are not the same has being able to marry. and then I want to discuss some of the other reasons why people feel homosexuals should nt marry.... I want all this and I want it to make sense and flow

ok sorry with the typos and in correct words. and leaving words out. When I write or type my thoughts go faster than my hand and sometimes when I read over it I see the words I know belong there. Please be patient. WOW I am asking alot on a friday thanks ladies I really do apperciate this

Hmmm... Well, I think all the things you want to discuss are good ones. Now, if it were me, I would leave the specific details on the history of marriage out of the introduction and put them in the first "Real" section, and actually use that history itself as an argument along the lines of "although in my introduction I defined the current status of marriage, it has not been so constant throughout history." And then you can show how people saying there is only one definition of marriage are wrong. In other words, the history is not just introductory, it is actually one of your central arguments and should go in the center! So I think maybe the introduction should not set up the entire history, I think it should probably set up and explain the current disagreement and the history of the disagreement, because that's what your paper is really about--it's not about marriage period, it's about resolving this specific debate about marriage. So I think maybe you should explain the current debate, not just marriage, in the intro. (Of course, this is just how I picture the debate in my head, so it may not actually make the most sense to you or the way you had planned out your paper. The suggestion about "mindmapping" the paper was actually a great one. I always do this before writing and it really, really helps me figure out what to talk about.)

that was great AX . I wasnt for sure what to put in my intro and I think you are right thanks. When I was writing it I felt some of things I discussed should be in the body.. You are guys are really helping me alot..