|
lionel
|
 |
2011-02-08 18-50-38 |
|
looking for a very specific relationship
So here's the thing, I'm looking for a relationship with a hot chick that is way out of married and looking Lismore my league. I'm decent looking, so you'll have to be at least an 8.5/10. Here's how it'll go down: Phase 1: We'll go on a couple casual dates, some really laid back stuff. You won't want to do much more than that right away because you'll be way too good for me and you'll know it. You need time to feel me out since I'm not what you would consider your type. But after 2 or 3 dates you'll realize that I'm actually a really cool guy. You're used to the super hot guys, but they tend to be borderline brain dead and extremely conceited. But I'll be different. I can have interesting and intelligent conversations with you that don't involve A&F's new fall line of clothing or my various hair care product, something your previous boyfriends would always talk about. And I can make you laugh like no other man has ever made you laugh. Your face will hurt from laughing so much when you are with me. You'll gradually open yourself up and let me in. Figuratively at first, but then literally. Phase 2: Sex with me will be different, but in a good way. I'll stimulate your mind and your body, but not in a geeky/nerdy way. It'll be everything you could ask for. You'll wonder where I've been your whole life, and you'll have no regrets at all about looking beyond "your type" and giving me a chance. "Why didn't I do this sooner?", you'll ask yourself while you lay in my arms and watch me sleep. You'll softly kiss my lips before you go to sleep yourself, and dream of me all night. I'll treat you better than a guy has treated you before, and I won't be a spineless pussy while I do it. We'll have a deep and meaningful respect for each other, and we'll even enjoy each others hobbies. I'll pretend that I don't like when you drag me to chick flicks, even though you know that I like them. You'll even look forward to spending a Saturday night playing video games and drinking whiskey with me. And when I tickle you you'll never want me to stop. Things will be perfect. Phase 3: Eventually I'll get way too drunk and do something extremely stupid. I can't be sure what it'll be, since it's different every time. Maybe I'll you a whore. Maybe a cunt. Or maybe a stupid whore cunt bitch shit pussy. Maybe I'll tease your fat friend for being fat. Maybe we'll have a pregnancy scare and I push you down a flight of stairs, just in case. But no matter what happens, I'll piss you off. And it'll be something completely unexpected and uned for. From that point on you'll never look at me the same way and things will start to deteriorate. Your contempt for me will not go unnoticed, and it'll piss me off, making me act like an asshole with greater frequency. You'll stay in the relationship for a lot longer than you want to, in the hopes that you can change me or bring back the spark that we once had. But it will all be for nothing, and eventually you'll dump me. Phase 4: I don't take the break up very well. I start out ing and texting you a few times a week, but it quickly turns into a daily occurrence. The thought of you fucking some other dude will consume me, and I'll be sending you dozens of texts a day, begging like a bitch for a second chance and apologizing. And just when you start to think that maybe you'll give the relationship another shot, I'll start throwing insecure, jealous ex-boyfriend shit at you. It'll get bad. One night I'll be drunk and pounding on your apartment door at 3am, begging to talk to you, accusing you of fucking every guy in sight. Eventually I'll quit my job and follow you around all day. When you're at work I'll be sitting in my car watching you through the windows, waiting for you to go home and making sure you're not getting too friendly with any other guys. When you're at home I'll be sitting in my car, watching to see if any guys come over. I'll probably be masturbating to pictures of you while I do it. You'll have to change your number because I won't leave you alone, but even that doesn't keep me away. Your friends and family will be scared for your life, and once I send you a love letter written in my own blood and cum, you'll agree with them. Phase 5: Restraining order. Possibly jail. There has to be some hot chick out there willing to go through with this. Or if you don't want all the creepy, obsessive shit that's cool too. We could even have a normal healthy relationship if that's your thing. I'm open for anything, so hit me up!
|